Mommyhood

I know I lot of expecting moms - seven total, not including myself. Some are going to be first time mommas. So, in honor of that, and in honor of Jack's many quirky little habits, I just wanted to write a little something to quasi-prepare these new mommas for mommyhood - just based on my own experience:

• Your child will laugh at odd things. Like the word "wall". Or a silly dance. And you will do the silly dance - in public - just to ease a potential meltdown.
• Eating habits differ per child, and if you may wonder how your child grows at all after spending the entire day consuming a waffle, 5 cheerios, a few Pringles and a piece of mango.
• Sometimes breastfeeding just doesn't pan out, for whatever reason. And that's OK. Remember that our generation was raised on formula, because that was seen as the "best" option at the time, and we came out all right.
• Mom "danger" radar is a real thing, and can go off at any time. Additionally, nightmare scenarios will pop into your head at the drop of a hat - usually after leaving your child with a sitter (even family) or after hearing some horrific news story on the radio.
• Your child's, um, "output" should we say, will be of important interest at times in terms of color and consistency.
• No more sleek handbag for you - you've graduated to the "mom bag", complete with diapers, snack, drink, extra change of clothes, toys - oh, and a small pocket for your things.
• Your child may dump all the Cheerios onto the floor and decide that Cheerios just taste better that way.
• Your child will eat dog food, and/or knock over your dog's water.
• Dancing reaches it's finest form around the age of two.
• At some point, you'll likely visit the ER. Probably at night.
• Your child will always get sick, with a high fever, during the weekend when the doctor's office is closed.
• You really do have to "train" a child to sleep.
• No matter how many fancy bath toys you buy, the $0.99 funnels from Target will be the BEST.TOY.EVER.
• After you have a child, you need to know other mommas just to maintain sanity.
• No matter what your decision, someone will make you feel bad about staying home with your child. Or about working. Or daycare vs. nanny. Someone always has an opinion.
• No matter how many "raising baby" books you read, your kid will break one or all of the rules.
• Your child will be amazed by things daily, and will amaze you daily.

If any other current mommas want to chime in, I just know I've forgotten something.